Showing posts with label Self Talk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Talk. Show all posts

Monday, January 21, 2008

Confidence Made Easy

By Shannon Graham

1. A Clear Picture

1. Certainty

Lets face it, when if comes to confidence no one is perfect. But it seems to me like one of the biggest factors in having high levels of self confidence comes from knowing exactly what you want out of life. I mean think about it, when you are not very sure about what you want, where you are going, or what kind of results you would like to achieve. That leads to a fair amount of uncertainty which can be a total killer of confidence. That is why certainty is the first key; it is because it is so important. Your action activity for this first key is to set some time aside and really focus on what you want out of life, where you want your life to go, and what kind of experiences you would like to have and make sure to be a detailed imaginative as you can. You will see your confidence level rise; because you will be completely aware of how you want to walk through life.

2. Fearlessness

Now when I speak of fearlessness I am not talking about having a total absence of fear. I am talk about your association to fear. Many of us live far below our potential; and it has nothing to do what what they are capable of, or their intelligence. It is more often because they are afraid they might fail, and experience pain. Yet the psychology of someone who has a great level of confidence does not see failure as something that is negative or to be feared. Ask your self this question right now. Am I willing to learn from my mistakes? True confidence comes from the ability to make mistakes, learn from them and use what you learned to take a better action next time. So go out and make some mistakes!

3. Awareness

Have you ever been looking for something and not been able to find it, and become upset and annoyed because you know this thing you are looking was "Right there!!" just two minutes ago? Just to have someone else point the thing out right in front of your nose? It is no different when it comes to confidence, when we get into a negative state of mind it is easy to ride it further and further down. Yet the whole time there is our confidence, our power, right next to us the whole time. So now it is time to become aware of the fact that we choose our thoughts and that confidence can be ours at any moment as long as we just make a strong decision to take a step back, take a deep breath, and reset our thoughts. Action step? Work on being aware of when your confidence starts to flounder, and ask your self some empowering questions like, How in this moment do I have power? Or what would it take for me to have more confidence right now?

4. Self Talk

The next key goes hand in hand with the one before it. Along with being aware of your confidence when it starts to slip, being aware of your own self talk. That is the way you communicate with your self. Sadly people tend to be very negative in how and what they think. They ask questions to themselves that require a negative answer. Like I always say your brain is like a machine, it has no bias what ever you put in is what you get out. So make a point of only asking questions or making statements that are positive. You will find your confidence going up because you constantly will be receiving information that makes you feel good, rather than information that makes you want to crawl under a rock. The homework for this one is to take complete ownership of your thoughts, remember you are the boss! If there are thoughts going on in your mind that do not support you, instantly make a statement that is the opposite. You will be blown away by the effects!

5. Practice

In this day and age of instant Email, instant messages, I want it now, give it to me now. It can be difficult to have to have patience. No one wants to do the work, but we all want the benefits. Often times it is the very thing that people do not want to do, the thing they wont do, that is exactly what the need to do. How many of us do not exercise? How many of us to not deepen our relationships when we know we should? My point is, there is not quick fix the only way you can have substantial results is to practice, practice, practice. Make confidence something you are fully committed to, use these tools everyday, make them a part of who you are. This change in your belief and how you construct your thoughts will lead to a shift in your life that will knock you off your socks! Guaranteed!

Disclaimer: If you follow the 5 Keys to Unstoppable Confidence with passion and determination you may encounter the following side effects: Abnormal Joy, decreased stress, problems complaining, lack of nervousness, increased sex drive, feeling empowered upon arising from a sitting or lying position, racing heartbeat, manic intensity,

Recognized as an expert in the arena of personal improvement, Shannon Graham is completely committed to helping others achieve their goals and live like a champion. His website is: http://www.success4rlife.com

Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com

Monday, January 14, 2008

Self Confidence: Learning to Have Faith and Trust in Yourself

By Rhonda Smith

Do you have faith and trust in yourself? Confidence is trust or faith that a person or thing is capable. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. Therefore if you have faith and trust in yourself you have confidence. I am astonished at how many women I meet who struggle with self-confidence. There are many factors that can lead to a lack of confidence such as gender, birth order, and parent’s attitudes.

Did you know that boys are called on to answers teacher’s questions more often than girls? Do you know why? More boys raise their hands than girls. So naturally when the teacher sees 10 boys with hands up and only 2 girls, the teacher will pick a boy. Boys raise their hands even when they don’t know the answer. Girls raise their hands only when they know the answer and sometimes not even then.

First born children are usually more confident, particularly if they are male. Parents pay lots of attention to everything a first-born does, therefore creating more confidence.

If one or both of your parents were excessively critical, demanding or overprotective you may not have developed self-confidence.

So what if you are a woman, who was not the first born, with parents who were overly critical or protective? What if don’t have faith and trust in yourself? How can you build your confidence?

First recognize what self-confidence looks like. When you are self-confident you will:

Do what you believe is right, even if others mock or criticize you.

Be willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.

Admit your mistakes and vow to learn from them.

Accept compliments graciously.

If you lack confidence you may:

Base your behavior on what other people think.

Stay in your comfort zone because you fear failure.

Cover up mistakes.

Dismiss compliments.

To build your confidence you must understand that it is like a muscle. There is no quick fix. Confidence must be warmed up, worked out, and stretched on a consistent basis to reach maximum potential and peak performance. Here are some steps to get you started:

Mentally prepare. Take stock of where you are, where you want to go, and commit yourself to starting it and staying with it. Look at what you have already achieved by writing out your 5 greatest accomplishments or finest moments. You may want to post this somewhere you can see it often. Give yourself credit for everything you try. By applauding yourself for trying you will build confidence. Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn regardless of the outcome. Listen to your self talk. Eliminate negative self-talk. If you have self-doubts, write them down and challenge them with rational solutions. Build your knowledge and/or skills by taking a class or course. Go get the degree or certificate that will prove your abilities to the world and yourself. Understand that you will make mistakes and you will not be perfect. Perfection is the antagonist of confidence. Set small goals (as steps to your bigger goals) and when you achieve them celebrate! Continue to stretch yourself by setting bigger goals. Hire a coach if you can’t do it on your own! Self-confidence is about balance. You know that negative outcomes are possible, but rather than exaggerating or minimizing it, you give it the due attention necessary (what can I do if this happens ...). So perhaps a better definition of confidence is the state of balanced perceptions and preparation.

And what will be the result of this new found confidence? Those around you will notice your confidence and you will inspire confidence in others. Perhaps Jack Welch said it best, "Confidence gives you courage and extends your reach. It lets you take greater risks and achieve far more than you ever thought possible!"

Rhonda H. Smith is a Professional Business and Life Coach. She works with women and small businesses to move beyond "Stuck" by nurturing and inspiring them to new paths of self-discovery, awareness and greatness. For more information please visit www.RhondaHSmith.com or www.CoachRhonda.com

Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The 5 Keys To Unstoppable Confidence

By Shannon Graham

Confidence, what does it mean to you? I believe we all have a personal definition of confidence, and whatever yours may be the follow steps will help you not only increase it, and make it stronger, it will also help make confidence a bigger part of who you are. So read on, and don’t forget to live like a champion!

1. Certainty

Lets face it, when if comes to confidence no one is perfect. But it seems to me like one of the biggest factors in having high levels of self confidence comes from knowing exactly what you want out of life. I mean think about it, when you are not very sure about what you want, where you are going, or what kind of results you would like to achieve. That leads to a fair amount of uncertainty which can be a total killer of confidence. That is why certainty is the first key; it is because it is so important. Your action activity for this first key is to set some time aside and really focus on what you want out of life, where you want your life to go, and what kind of experiences you would like to have and make sure to be a detailed imaginative as you can. You will see your confidence level rise; because you will be completely aware of how you want to walk through life.

2. Fearlessness

Now when I speak of fearlessness I am not talking about having a total absence of fear. I am talk about your association to fear. Many of us live far below our potential; and it has nothing to do what what they are capable of, or their intelligence. It is more often because they are afraid they might fail, and experience pain. Yet the psychology of someone who has a great level of confidence does not see failure as something that is negative or to be feared. Ask your self this question right now. Am I willing to learn from my mistakes? True confidence comes from the ability to make mistakes, learn from them and use what you learned to take a better action next time. So go out and make some mistakes!

3. Awareness

Have you ever been looking for something and not been able to find it, and become upset and annoyed because you know this thing you are looking was “Right there!!” just two minutes ago? Just to have someone else point the thing out right in front of your nose? It is no different when it comes to confidence, when we get into a negative state of mind it is easy to ride it further and further down. Yet the whole time there is our confidence, our power, right next to us the whole time. So now it is time to become aware of the fact that we choose our thoughts and that confidence can be ours at any moment as long as we just make a strong decision to take a step back, take a deep breath, and reset our thoughts. Action step? Work on being aware of when your confidence starts to flounder, and ask your self some empowering questions like, How in this moment do I have power? Or what would it take for me to have more confidence right now?

4. Self Talk

The next key goes hand in hand with the one before it. Along with being aware of your confidence when it starts to slip, being aware of your own self talk. That is the way you communicate with your self. Way too often people are negative in their thoughts. They ask questions to themselves that require a negative answer. Like I always say your brain is like a machine, it has no bias what ever you put in is what you get out. So make a point of only asking questions or making statements that are positive. Rather then constantly getting information that makes it difficult to be positive, you will be receiving information that gives you power and builds you up, and naturally you’re confidence will boost. The homework for this one is to take complete ownership of your thoughts, remember you are the boss! If there are thoughts going on in your mind that do not support you, instantly make a statement that is the opposite. You will be blown away by the effects!

5. Practice

In this day and age of instant Email, instant messages, I want it now, give it to me now. It can be difficult to have to have patience. No one wants to do the work, but we all want the benefits. The funny part is in my experience I have found whatever it is that we will not do, or do not want to do is very often the very thing we need to do. How many of us do not exercise? How many of us to not deepen our relationships when we know we should? I think you get my point, so the real secret is just old fashioned practice. Make confidence something you are fully committed to, use these tools everyday, make them a part of who you are. This change in your belief and how you construct your thoughts will lead to a shift in your life that will knock you off your socks! Guaranteed!

Disclaimer: If you follow the 5 Keys to Unstoppable Confidence with passion and determination you may encounter the following side effects: Abnormal Joy, decreased stress, problems complaining, lack of nervousness, increased sex drive, feeling empowered upon arising from a sitting or lying position, racing heartbeat, manic intensity.

Shannon Graham is a professional life coach that works with people to help them reach higher levels of confidence and empowerment. At only 25 years old he has been studying success principles and personal improvement strategies for over a decade. For more information visit: http://www.success4rlife.com