What is Self-Confidence?

By Julia Barnard

‘If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Confidence is about believing in yourself, giving you the courage to go for your goals. As such, assertiveness is a valuable component of a self-confident person. To reach your goals you need to be able to go for what you want. Tied in with this is having an optimistic outlook. Self-confidence is also about liking yourself and being able to take personal responsibility. Furthermore, having confidence is not about belittling or treading on the needs of others. It is a sure sign of a confident person that they are able to see the good in other people, and support and encourage them without feeling jealous or defensive.

Consider each of these elements and perhaps work on those aspects you feel you have most difficulties with. Without self-confidence, life becomes that much tougher.

Believing in yourself

With confidence, you believe you can succeed. You create goals which you expect to achieve. By believing in yourself it empowers you to relish a challenge and puts you in a position where you can cope with situations. Such self-support is very empowering and motivating. You cannot always rely on other people to say the right things, so self-belief is vital.

Assertiveness

Assertiveness is about being able to stand up for what you believe in. You are able to stand by your decision without giving in to others at the slightest hint that things may get awkward. If you can assert your needs, you will have reduced stress, as you will not feel disappointed in yourself. You will be able to enjoy life, knowing you are taking an active role in it.

Optimistic about the future

Confident people are able to recognise that when bad things happen there is a way out. Just because life isn’t so great right now, does not mean it always will be. Difficulties are regarded as challenges to be overcome. With confidence, a person is able to get up again and keep trying, rather than just giving up. With an optimistic outlook a person is able to accept and embrace the good things that happen. They do not put it down to luck or expect them to be fleeting.

Liking yourself

You really should like yourself. An important ingredient for self-confidence is the realisation of how valuable a person you are. Try to be reasonable with and fair to yourself. Sometimes we treat ourselves worse than our biggest enemy. As such, you should be able to forgive yourself. If things go wrong, it is not the end of the world. Focus on your actions, rather than let it undermine who you are.

Personal responsibility

Having confidence enables you to take responsibility for your life. You are able to recognise how much you are in charge of your thoughts and actions. You do not need to blame others when things go wrong. Instead you are able to dust yourself down and get on with things. Furthermore, you are not bound up with the past and use it as a reason for inaction in your present. Taking responsibility also allows you to recognise your achievements as yours, rather than attributing them to luck or the actions of other people.

Other people

With confidence you feel good enough about yourself that you are able to see the good in others. You do not feel the need to put other people down and try to undermine them. Instead you are able to support them and celebrate their achievements, without envy or comparison with yourself.

To boost your confidence, you want positive people in your life. Those that make you feel good about yourself. Although most of the work comes from within, you want friends that appreciate you rather than are disparaging you all the time.

Copyright Julia Barnard 2007

Julia Barnard is a professional counsellor living in Adelaide, Australia. She provides an online counselling service through her website http://www.makethechange.com.au. Julia also writes articles for the website aimed at enhancing wellbeing and promoting good mental health.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Julia_Barnard

10 Powerful Tips to Improve Self Confidence

By Jon Mercer

If you find yourself feeling like you're "in a rut" and not appreciating yourself as much as you should, there are simple changes you can make to improve self-confidence and take charge of your life again. Confidence affects every area of life, from relationships to the workplace. And improving your self-confidence will always have a beneficial effect on both your relationships with others, and your ability to handle the little ups and downs that life can throw at us from time to time.

As a personal development coach, I have worked with many individuals to increase self-esteem and self-acceptance. The following 10 tips have proven time and again to improve self-confidence for a wide variety of people.

1. Clothes Make the Man and Woman. Yes, it's an old cliche', but that doesn't make it any less true. When we dress confidently, we feel confident. Try this experiment: for one week, dress like the person you want to be, NOT the person you think you are. This one is simple change can dramatically improve self-confidence.

2. Stop Trying so Hard. Improving confidence should not be about struggling. Give up trying to be a perfectionist, and give yourself permission to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes sometimes. A sure-fire way to feel inferior is to set the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut yourself some slack -- you deserve it.

3. Focus Your Attention Outward. Lack of confidence often causes people to focus an inordinate amount of attention inward, on the "self." Make it a point to focus more attention on others than you do on yourself. Remember, confident people focus outward -- insecure people focus inward.

4. Avoid Energy Vampires. All of us know someone who seems to "suck the energy" out of a room just by entering. Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don't hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.

5. Take a Chance. Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Shake up your life a little bit. The change will do you good, and your self-confidence will improve.

6. Be a Giver. There is an old proverb that says "you only get what you give." With that in mind, start giving what you want to receive in life. Make other people feel as confident and worthwhile as you can. By helping to build up confident feelings in others, you are sure to get back the same thing. Call it karma or what ever you like -- it always works.

7. Practice Forgiveness. Many people are very hard on themselves because, deep down, they have not forgiven themselves for something in their past. If you're clinging to some failure or transgression from the past, recognize that you are doing it and then forgive yourself completely for whatever it was. Likewise, if there is someone else in your life you need to forgive, make it a point to do so. NOT for their sake -- but for yours. When we forgive, we purify our heart and start anew.

8. Affirmations: Ask Yourself the Right Questions. Some people repeat affirmations such as "I am self confident," which is fine, but you can improve your affirmation results by using leading questions such as, "why am I so confident?" The subconscious mind operates in a very simple manner. When you ask it a question like this, it will immediately go to work looking for the answer, and it will report back to you all of the ways you already are confident.

9. "Model" Other Confident People. One way to improve self-confidence is to model the behavior of people whom you consider to be supremely confident. If you can befriend a very confident person, that's great. But if not, just find an actor or other celebrity who is confidence personified, and study their behavior. Do this several times a week, and some of their confident mannerisms are bound to rub off on you.

10. Practice Gratitude. A grateful mind is a peaceful mind, and a peaceful mind radiates confidence. Practice making a daily gratitude list, and particularly focus on different aspects of yourself that you appreciate. Maybe you are a great swimmer, or good at math, or really strong, or a good dancer, or have an unusual sense of humor, or are good at design, or a great singer, or a really good friend, or any number of other positive attributes. Look for what is great about you, and then be grateful you have those qualities. Appreciating your good qualities will improve self-confidence, and help you develop the kind of positive self-image that is crucial to success in life.

Finally, you can improve self confidence without endless affirmations or struggling! Discover how to build self confidence the easy way.

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