Developing Self Confidence in Children - Can Parents Build it

By Helen R Williams

As a child grows in awareness, his developing self confidence reflects his positive interactions with his environment and his growing trust in both others and himself.developing self confidence

Self confidence is about having a belief in our own abilities.

It is the inner assurance that we can trust ourselves, be self reliant and have faith in our own choices and judgments.

This inner belief or self confidence is usually mirrored back to us through our interactions with others and so our competence is further enforced.

Ideally, self confidence is best developed early in life and maintained with awareness as we mature.

Early, positive, repetitive nurturing, provides the pattern or blueprint for your child on which his sense of self confidence is formed.

How to build self confidence in your child

Don't make comparisons

Comparisons between children are odious at the best of times. A child can be quickly undermined if he feels he is being compared with a sibling or friend. Self acceptance is a large component of self confidence.

Try not to undermine his ability

Even in simple play, parents often unknowingly undermine their children. Simply saying, "Here, let me do that for you," can be enough to squash a child's inner confidence. Suggest instead, "Can you see another way you could try that?"

Encourage social interaction

Regular contact with other children and their families is a great way of developing self confidence in social situations. Remember to mirror for your child confidence and ease with others.

Be consistent

A child with strong, familiar boundaries has more opportunities for self confidence as he is exposed to fewer fearful situations.

Follow routines

Regular, consistent, dependable routines encourage confidence in everyday life.

Regular, safe exposure to new situations

Introduce your child to different and unfamiliar playground, walks, and people. Encourage him to explore. Take part in different sports, musical activities, interests.

Explain, educate, talk, listen

Communicate your feelings, hopes, fears and dreams. Help your child to discuss his feelings with you rather than to push them down or away. Teach him to say "I feel sad, mad, happy, good, etc."

Encourage, praise, comment, support, cheer on

Every night tell your child something great that you noticed about him that day.

"I really liked the way you helped your mother set the table, played with your sister, read your story, etc."

Allow him to work with you as you cook, clean, garden and do household chores. It is especially important for fathers to remember to allow and encourage their children to work alongside them.

Play with your child a lot

This sends the direct message to your child that he is valued and loved.
Give your child responsibilities

Even very young children thrive on a position of responsibility. They can fetch, put away, tidy, clean, pack up. As they grow, write out chore charts for your children.

Hug your children often

Warm, loving, family touch feeds self confidence.

Encourage actions requiring confidence

Show them how - don't do it for them.

Helen Williams

Editor Consistent Parenting Advice.com

http://www.consistent-parenting-advice.com/index.html

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