Keeping Your Better Confidence Resolution This Year

By Nathalie Fiset

If you want to be more confident this New Year, you are in for a lot of work. Being confident does not only mean being able to stand up to people, or being able to express yourself without fear, or being able to talk to anyone you wish. Being confident means being able to both stand up to and accept criticism as something constructive; and being confident can take years to actually build up. When you make that resolution this New Year, you may want to specify that you want to build your confidence, not have it immediately; if you demand too much of yourself in a very short time, you might end up getting disappointed.

However, it is possible that you can achieve better confidence by this New Year. Here are a few tips that you might want to follow as you embark on this journey to better confidence and a better you.

Know what it is that you want to be confident in. There are so many fields that you can be an expert in, and you might want to choose prudently instead of heaping up your plate with all the dreams that you have. Not only will you not be able to fulfill all your dreams, you might have a harder time being an expert in just one field; you may also end up disappointing yourself and you can end up breaking your resolution.

So what is it that you want to build your confidence in? Do you want to be able to speak up in front of a large crowd, perform poetry at your local bar, dance for a Broadway audition panel, or audition for American Idol? Do you want to be able to invest large amounts of money in high risk stocks? Do you want to come out to your parents? Do you want to tell someone how much you love them? Be specific about your goals: it is difficult to meet a goal that is unreal and unexplainable, so word out your confidence goal directly, succinctly, and specifically, so that you know exactly what it is you are aiming for.

Keep a journal. It may sound cheesy, but it's a good way for you to know exactly what it is you want, remind yourself about your goals, and see how far you have come. In your journal, write your daily progress (or weekly or monthly progress, depending on your workload) and talk about what you felt as you tried to build up your confidence. Did you attend a class? Talk to an expert? Consult with your doctor? Submit an article to a magazine? At the end of the year, you can look back at your progress and see how far you have come!

Don't be afraid to start out small. You may want to perform in front of a large crowd, but you will seldom learn anything (except for perhaps, humiliation and discouragement) if you run straight into the lion's den and speak out in front of a very large crowd. Start out by performing at a local bar: go for open mike night or poetry-reading night to test your audience; or start being friends with the bar or café manager and book a night to promote your work. There are many ways for you to start off small, but these small efforts will keep on building up; when put together, all these efforts can make you even more confident to face the world.

Don't be afraid to learn new things. In order to be more confident in whatever it is you want to do, you will need to learn more and know more. You may need to enroll in classes or workshops, buy books that you might need to help you through, or even talk to a therapist! You need to be knowledgeable: there is a certain kind of confidence that arises when you know exactly what it is you are good at, so you need this knowledge to back you up. Better start saving for those classes and books, because learning is not only difficult, it is expensive as well!

Find a discussion group of friends or colleagues to help you out. There's nothing like a group of like-minded people to help you on your way. These friends or colleagues can be your cheering team, or they can be your network of connections, say by providing you a venue to produce or showcase your work, or to practice your craft.

Practice! Confidence doesn't just come from knowledge, it also comes from skill, so keep on going and keep on practicing. Confidence takes years to build, and with patience, you can get that confidence that you are aiming for.

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